A Mother's embrace

With li'l Ms R becoming cuter by the day- she's learning our language fast- there are so many times when she just wants to hug me. And boy O  boy! don't I just live for those moments. I know that she feels secure when I hold her tight in my arms, but does she know I feel more secure knowing that she's mine? Its the same feeling that I get- when I used to collapse in my mum's outstretched arms and know that everything would be fine- all problems would solve themselves...

Home!!!

So here we are- finally- in R's maternal gramps home. The trip- a much postponed and long awaited one has finally reached fruition- especially at the hands of R's Nanu- whom she can't bear for even a single minute- starting her whining weeping as soon as he even looks towards her. Poor Papa! Nonetheless he's not giving up trying- even suggesting that he will visit a temple if she starts liking him & coming to him in godi. Last evening R jumped out of my lap and onto the carpet where a freshly laundered sheet was laid, for her crawling benefit. She started pooping and later we realised that she had created quite a mess while jumping and pooping. This now makes officially everyone in our house a member of 'Washed Raania's Poopy clothes' club. On a separate note- ten long months ago- yes- it seems like a lifetime because I feel R was always around- with me- I had just started experiencing labour pains at this minute. Fool I was, to think it was a cakewalk- once the bag burst there was no end to the misery- for 7 long hours! But all was justified- I got a darling in the end!!

You and I

Just how do I know that you're hungry for another ounce of milk? How do I know when your crying is because of hunger, or when you just want a hug from me? Or how I love the way you utter an AH! on seeing me after ten minutes of playing in another room with your maid? Or the way you look at me with achievement shining through in your eyes- when you finish a bottle of formula? Or the war cry you emit when you sneak up on me and pull my hair? Or how you pummel me with tiny feet and fists while sleeping and I do so love it that I actually look forward to it each night? And how you listen to the mindless gibberish I make up about other kids in the building while feeding you lunch... And how you listen to all those funny sounds in nursery rhymes that I make- you've been laughing at them for a few months now... You and I go back a long way, my baby!

And off we go!

The first of the two semi annual visits to the maternal grandparents side starts tomorrow. This visit has been marred by so many postponements- that it took us an entire month to finally revv up and fly. Most excited is, of course, little Ms R- she can't figure out whose suitcase she likes better- her own Raani coloured one- or her mum's dark pink one- and wants to climb into both to check how it feels to be a packed item. Packing for an almost ten month old is easier than packing for an almost four month old- the age when R went on her first domestic holiday to the grandparents.  Guess it gets better with age. However, the quantum of clothes/ nappies/ washcloths/ bibs/ blankets/ sheets / accessories don't come down just coz she's older. If anything now there's shoes, matching hairbands, teethers and favorite toys also to pack! 

The best gift from God!

God gifted you to me to fill the void in my life which was getting unbearable.  God gifted you to me so that I feel complete with your tiny hands in mine, the way you seek me out at night, touching and clinging onto my arm- I bet you feel reassured by my presence but let me tell you- I feel reassured by YOURS. I love your furry head tucked against my arm- I love your slightly long nails scratching me as you look for my hand in the dark. God gifted you to me so that my days and nights are filled with a peace so tranquil that I feel I'm floating sometimes. God gifted you to me so that all my other past achievements pale in comparison. God gifted you to me so that I am a better person. God gifted you to me so that I can work hard at leaving a legacy for you. God gifted you to me so that I dont feel lonely anymore. You are the best gift I could've ever asked for. My queen- Raania

Sigh

Sigh Parents and children should never fall ill. That quite covers the whole population of the world- doesn't it? Yes- it's difficult when a part of you is writhing and crying in pain and you can only watch helplessly. More so when they can't speak and can only cry for communication. Even worse is the fact that you've to steel yourself to push some of that yuck tasting medicine into their mouths- why is it that what's good for you tastes so bad, and even when it tastes bad, there's no guarantee that it'll make you better? So's life. The experiences that are bitter make you better but not necessarily so... For if the bitterness is persistent then it makes your life a living hell, filled with suicidal thoughts. Sigh.