Better than Me

Whoever termed it the rat race sure knew what he was talking about.
Having spent the last couple of days in (sick) bliss at home, I was forced to re-analyse my priorities (not that I ever gave my job top marks... Umm well maybe.. that mad year before last when I worked sixteen hours daily, non stop for six days a week, for a whole year before a stinging ear infection slowed my nine hour-daily conversations to just minute long yes' and no's) and just wonder why...
Gazing out of my leafy balcony, I watched the dewey raindrops fall pat by pat on the leaves, making it the best sound in the world. As I cradled a cup of warm green tea and watched a spider make it's way to the top of wet branch, I marvelled at the elasticity of time. Here I was, four o'clock in the afternoon, drinking tea and looking out at the overcast skies, without a care in the world, when I should've been behind my desk in my glass cabin, shouting why-were-sales-yet-so-low on some poor Store Manager. If this was office, I would've closed two new sales partners, followed up with the entire national sales team on targets, surfed a few websites to get the latest on e-commerce to implement, checked the purchase history of a few good customers and fired the ad agency a coupla times. But here I was, at home, with no particular agenda and after four years of running in the rat race, I actually liked being without a job list. I spent the rest of the evening catching up on HBO, cooking some delectable pasta for my husband and rustling up some boiled veggies for myself. Not once did I feel the lack of direction in the day- my purpose was clear- have no purpose!!
And I thought-
Whatever we accomplish in our professional lives always has a comparison. You are either better than last year or worse than the previous quarter. Your predecessor never/ always made it better than you.
And whatever we accomplish in our personal lives is always against our own selves. There is no greater/ smaller love towards parents. Your husband loves you more than last year, in comparison to yourself, not the neighbour's wife next door.
And then I wonder, if its yourself you are competing with, don't you deserve a little more time?
Sigh.